Pop Culture Haikus: WWE Edition

Paragon Fantasy Wrestling ArenaPop Culture Haikus are the traditional Japanese poem style (remember the syllable rule: “Five for one, seven for two, five for three”) reworked to fit today’s biggest pop culture icons.  For the first edition of this feature, the characters of Marvel’s Agents of Shield were immortalized in haikus.  For this second installment, I wanted to pay tribute to one of my favorite pastimes (since 2006, anyway).  The following haikus are based on some of my favorite colorful personalities of the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment; at least, that’s what it went by until WWE decided to simply go by its initials in 2011, but who knows with those guys anymore?).  Links to each subject’s Wikipedia page is provided for those interested in learning more about them.  If you want to see them in action, just search their names on YouTube or Google; trust me, you’ll find more than enough information on each person – more than you would have thought possible!

John Cena

The champ’s moral code:/”Hustle, loyalty, respect.”/Not bad for a start!

CM Punk

Chicago’s toughest/Antihero to many/It’s clobbering time!

3MB

Three men in a tub/Claim to be a real rock band/Can’t carry a tune.

Hulk Hogan

The Three Demandments:/”Eat vitamins, say prayers, train.”/Works wonders, bro!

Randy Savage

“Macho Madness” rules./Adrenaline and chaos/Elizabeth loves!

WrestleMania

The grand stage is set./The players combat gladly./Winner: box office.

Monday Night Raw

A three hour tour/Live, free, quality wrestling/Something for nothing.

Vincent Kennedy McMahon

Wrestling mastermind/From commentator to boss/He’s longest-tenured.

Howard Finkel

Iconic talker/Voice of all the biggest shows/First and still the best!

The haikus are done/What do you think of them, hmm?/Comment below, please!

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