Paragon Fantasy Wrestling Part 3: Sunday Night Hype

Wednesday, August 28th, 2013

Paragon Fantasy Wrestling ArenaHello, everyone!  I’m back with part 3 of our ongoing fantasy wrestling extravaganza.  In our last episode, I introduced some new faces into the Paragon universe.  Now, we will have a chance to see some of them in action, in an environment completely suited to the development of great talent.

Sunday, October 22- 10:00 P.M.

In Paragon City, Illinois, Sunday nights bring a very special show to local TV viewers.  For the past year or so, a show called “Sunday Night Hype” has been airing which regularly features young up-and-coming wrestlers plying their trade and jockeying for featured spots on the bigger shows on the Paragon Fantasy Wrestling calendar.  Paradoxically, a vocal minority of fans have come to the conclusion that “Hype” is the best show Paragon produces every week, mostly because it focuses on actual wrestling without a good deal of the ridiculous “talk show,” “interview,” or other nonscensical “entertainment” segments which take up huge chunks of TV time on most other wrestling shows in the modern age.  For fans who prefer those things in their wrestling shows, this detail might disappoint them, but for everyone else, there is some great wrestling action to be had with a little silliness on the side.  On this particular edition of “Sunday Night Hype,” three singles matches are scheduled to occur.  Jeb Colt will take on Warp Galactic in the opener, Rick Orson a.k.a. “Super Kid” will grapple with Kendall Catcher, and Billy “Bo” Roberts is set to oppose The Finisher in the main event.

After the opening title sequence concludes, the ornery Jeb Colt makes his entrance to the strains of “Bad to the Bone.”  He is looking forward to this first match because he knows very well, just as all competitors on “Da Hype” know, that a big win here means bigger opportunities for the winner down the road.  As he climbs into the ring, he glares up at the neon-green jumpsuit-wearing, bubble-helmeted Warp Galactic who descends to the ring using a steam-powered jetpack while Queen’s “Flash Gordon” blares.  As soon as Warp has sorted himself out, the bell rings and the match begins.  Jeb is quick to take the advantage with a clothesline which knocks Warp down.  The “space case” gets back up and targets Jeb with several choice punches to the solar plexus (this is one of Warp’s favorite tactics, especially the “solar” part).  Jeb counters this by grabbing Warp’s arms, pulling them apart, and delivering a big boot to his opponent’s midsection, knocking him back a bit.  Jeb rushes in and puts Warp in a sleeper hold, but Galactic successfully breaks out of it, suplexes Jeb over his head, and grabs Jeb’s legs and ties them into a knot with a Texas cloverleaf.  Jeb turns over onto his belly and bucks back with his legs at Warp, causing him to let go of the hold and giving Jeb time to get back onto his feet.

This showing of scientific wrestling skill is a bit unusual for both Jeb and Warp, but they are fighting for the all-important victory and to leave a positive impression on Paragon Wrestling matchmakers, so a little extra passion is understandable.  The match goes on for several more minutes as Jeb and Warp slowly adopt a more primal, hard-hitting style involving big punches and kicks that have little substance but leave lingering impacts.  Soon, Warp looks to the crowd with a telltale sparkle in his eyes, the kind of look he only gets when he is certain he is going to win and wants to perform his signature finishing move, Saturn’s Rings.  He jumps up into the air, latches onto Jeb’s head with his legs, and flips him three times in midair, landing back onto the mat with Jeb’s shoulders pinned to the floor, the wind knocked out of him.  The impact of the landing was too much for Jeb, so he gladly welcomes the sweet relief of the bell ringing after the three-count.  Warp has won the match, and he climbs outside the ring to give high fives to all of the ringside fans.  Jeb eventually gets himself up and climbs out as well, receiving a standing ovation from the fans who are appreciative of the great match he and Warp put on.  It is likely that both of these young wrestlers will meet again in the near future, but for now, this fantastic matchup will certainly remain in the minds of the fans who watched it in the arena and on TV.

Sunday, October 22- 10:17 P.M.

The second matchup of the evening pits Rick “Super Kid” Orson against Kendall “Mister Capsule Mons” Catcher.  Following a commercial break, a pair of thirty-second promo spots air in which each competitor talks about what they hope to accomplish with tonight’s contest.  Orson says that, thanks to his knowledge network, he knows things about the world of Capsule Mons that Catcher would be shocked to know: “It goes much deeper than you think.  Everyone else thinks its just a harmless game, but I sense you know a bit of the truth.  Trust me, though: you are playing a most dangerous game, and it will not end well for you if you make the wrong move.  I would follow the advice of the Head of Caterpillar Mountain in Northwest Pacific Land on this one, Catcher: Keep.  Your.  Temper.”

Catcher thinks Orson is getting way too much into this: “Whoa, buddy!  Whose temper is going off here?  You think you can psych me out with your crazy mumbo jumbo about the end of the world?  Come on, the Seven Seas region is not going anywhere, and the Capsule Mons will have a good home for a long, long time… with me, of course!  If you want some of your own, why don’t you go out to a capsule machine and buy yourself some?  Oh, wait, you’ll probably just have your “knowledge nutjobs” do that for you.  Well, too bad, because you will never know the true pleasure of getting a Mon for yourself!  Don’t worry, I’d be happy to share mine with you after the show, but not before I beat you first!”

Catcher’s promo fades away from viewers’ screens and is replaced by the image of Orson and Catcher standing across from each other in the ring.  Orson has a blue domino mask, a green spandex suit, and a red cape.  Catcher is decked out in a red  snappy red vest with pockets for all of his Capsule Mons (which have all been banned from ringside, as is custom with all of Catcher’s matches, but that’s no guarantee that they won’t have a role to play tonight), a faded pair of blue jeans, and well-worn sneakers.  Both wrestlers are ready, so the bell rings and the show goes on.

Early in the contest, Catcher looks to dominate as he attacks “Super Kid” Orson with a variety of wild suplexes.  Orson, however, knows a counter for all of these moves and prevents Catcher from letting them affect him too badly.  In fact, he even tries out some of these moves himself on Catcher.  The Capsule Mons enthusiast is less than thrilled to be on the receiving end of his own offensive maneuvers, and he looks worse for wear by the time he gets back up from the mat.  The fans seated in the arena snicker a bit at seeing Catcher be toyed with so easily by Orson.  Catcher is a bit perturbed by their mocking and glares angrily at them for a second or two before Orson turns him back around and lands an uppercut to the chin.  Orson lifts Catcher up onto his shoulders for a torture rack backbreaker and tosses him back down to the mat.  Orson covers his opponent, but only gets to two before Catcher kicks back out.    Orson picks up Catcher again and lifts him up over his head in a gorilla press, walks over to the side of the ring, and tosses Catcher over the ropes and down to the floor.  Catcher lies on the ringside padding, breathing heavily but still okay.  As Catcher gets back up and climbs back into the ring, commentator Nick Sparks mentions that it’s time for a commercial break, but encourages viewers to “stay Hyped” and stick around for the match’s conclusion.   

“Kendall Catcher just can’t seem to get out of the blocks here,” Sparks tells viewers as “Sunday Night Hype” comes back with the image of Orson locking in a deep armbar on Catcher.  “Throughout the commercial break, ‘Super Kid’ has been living up to his name and shutting down all of Catcher’s offense.  Unless Catcher gets a second wind here, I think Rick Orson will walk away with the winner’s share of the purse tonight.”  Fortunately, “second wind” appears to be in Catcher’s vocabulary for tonight, because he starts working himself up into a frenzy, desperately jabbing at Orson’s arm.  The constant needling causes Orson to loosen his grip.  Catcher pulls on the arm and judo-flips Orson over his head and directly onto the mat in front of him.  Now that he’s free, Catcher walks quickly over to Orson’s legs and picks up his left leg in an ankle lock.  Apparently the move is cinched in deeply because small cries of agony start coming from Orson.

The fans start to clap slowly in support of Orson, getting faster and faster with every passing second of Orson’s predicament.  Orson, inspired by the fans’ infectious action, turns over onto his back and kicks at Catcher’s head with his free leg, causing Catcher to let go of Orson’s left leg and clutch his head in pain.  Orson takes advantage of Catcher’s vulnerability by jerking his head down and planting him onto the mat with a vicious DDT (vertical takedown maneuver with similar effects to a piledriver; Jake “The Snake” Roberts originated this move, and here’s a highlight reel of him performing it as only he can!).  Orson covers Catcher again and is oh so close to getting the three when Catcher kicks out again.  “Do you believe in miracles, folks?”  Sparks screams into his headset microphone in sheer disbelief.

Catcher starts clapping his hands just as the crowd did for Orson just moments ago; a few fans join in, but the majority in the arena boo him incessantly.  He looks in Orson’s direction as if he is determined to steal one more thing from him.  He runs toward Orson and starts preparing himself to execute a DDT of his own.  Orson blocks Catcher’s hands at the last second, turns him around,  and twists his arms into a knot behind his back.  Catcher can’t take the pressure as Orson drives his body down into the mat and slaps his hand on the ground several times, the universal sign that a wrestler has given up.  “‘Super Kid’ Rick Orson wins by submission!” the announcer says to the fans in attendance and watching at home as the referee raises Orson’s hand in victory.

As Orson ascends to the top turnbuckle in one corner of the ring to acknowledge the fans’ cheers, Catcher reaches into an inside pocket of his coat and pulls out a capsule.  An astute fan notices this and points it out to his friends seated at ringside.  Word quickly spreads throughout the arena and some fans start screaming to Orson, trying to warn him that Catcher might be up to something.  Orson turns around in time to see Catcher throw the capsule down onto the ground and release a thick cloud of smoke which fills the arena.  By the time the smoke clears, Catcher is gone from the ring and Orson and the referee look puzzled as to where he might have gone.  The big screen on the entranceway then flickers to life with a huge image of Catcher sneering down at Orson.  “Nice win there, “Super Squid!”  I’ll give you some points for endurance, but you still have a long way to go to keep me down!  You may have won tonight, but I’ll have the last laugh!  I challenge you to a rematch this Thursday night!  You’d better be there!  By the way, did you like my new Mon, “Smoky?”  Catcher’s image fades away as Orson stands in the ring frustrated and already mentally preparing himself for the rematch.

Sunday, October 22- 10:55 P.M.

The next segment of “Sunday Night Hype” focuses mostly on recapping what has happened so far on the show as well as reporting on the events scheduled for the next installment of Paragon’s flagship broadcast, “Thursday Night Elite.”  Kendall Catcher will indeed take on Rick Orson to open up that broadcast, and Jeb Colt is set to take on Fire Sumo.  The Paragon Elite Champion, Clarion, has also apparently asked Warp Galactic to assist him in what he claims is a very important endeavor.  Will the “space case” accept?  The answer to that question will have to wait because it is time for the last match of the night (because of the show’s nature, it’s not called a main event, but it promises to be just as exciting as the other two matches).  It is time for Billy “Bo” Roberts vs. The Finisher.

Billy “Bo” Roberts is the first to make his entrance, playing air guitar and lip-syncing (badly) to the tune of his signature theme song, “On The Cover of the Rolling Stone.”  By the time he climbs into the ring, most fans have reached into their purses or pockets and put in their official Paragon Wrestling ear-plugs (a particularly bright idea from the Paragon marketing team).  Roberts, looking absolutely thrilled to be at the show tonight in his leather pants plastered with musical notes and a sparkly silver left-handed glove, stops his music making in order to thank the fans for their appreciation.  “Thank you so much to all you Bo-boys and Bo-girls!  This next hit’s for you!”

Thankfully, before Billy strikes up the “band” again, The Finisher’s theme, “It’s the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine),” starts playing over the arena P.A. system and the man himself makes his entrance.  He strides confidently down to the ring in a yellow singlet and red mask which obscures his whole face.  “No more singing!  Now is the time for action,” he shouts at Billy.  He gets into the ring and the bell quickly sounds.

Roberts looks panicked and runs around The Finisher looking for a place to play it safe and plan his attack, but his opponent grabs him, flips him onto the mat, and quickly locks a crossface submission maneuver on Roberts’ face.  Billy can’t take the pain and quickly taps out.  The crowd erupts into cheers for The Finisher after he so handily finished off “Bo.”  Sure, it was a quick match, but the fans aren’t exactly unhappy with the results.  “Sunday Night Hype” closes on the image of The Finisher posing triumphantly over the fallen “Bo” and then fades to black.

I hope all of you enjoyed this episode of “Sunday Night Hype” and seeing our six new stars in action.  There will be plenty of action coming up in the weeks to come.  Are you looking forward to the action?  What kind of matchups do you want to see?  Any ideas for new stars?  Remember, this is your fantasy wrestling story, too, so your input is greatly appreciated.  Thanks, as always, for reading, and I will see you at ringside!

Paragon Fantasy Wrestling Part 2.5: The Draft

Wednesday, August 7th, 2013

Paragon Fantasy Wrestling Arena

It’s been a while since I wrote about the world of my own fictional pro wrestling league, Paragon Fantasy Wrestling.  I feel kind of bad about that since I wanted it to be a regular feature of this blog and it remains one of my favorite parts of this site.  Well, after a few months, I think it’s time I did a little more world-building.  I plan on doing updates to the ongoing storyline in the near-future, but since I’m just getting back into the swing of things here (people do still say “swing of things,” right?), I figured I should add a few more characters to the roster to spice things up a bit. 

We already have four characters so far: current Paragon Elite champion Clarion, the “Urban Cowboy” Ricky Bolero, the high-flying Alex Jumper, and the huge Fire Sumo.  I like all of these characters already each in their own way, but I want to have a large cast so there’s a bit more variety in the match types and personalities in the Paragon universe.  Therefore, I am instituting the first Paragon Fantasy Wrestling Talent Draft!  I’ll present to you the profiles for six characters I am considering adding to the story.  Tell me what you think of them in the comments and offer up any ideas for characters you’d like to see in the world of fictional wrestling.  I’d greatly value any and all input in this endeavor, so your opinions would be greatly appreciated.  And with that, here’s the six wrestlers in the Draft:

Rick Orson a.k.a. “Super Kid”- Theme: “Iron Man” by Black Sabbath

This would-be superhero has jet-black hair and blue eyes with a small scar over his left eye, but most of the time these features are hidden by a yellow mask with mirror lenses for eyes (like the kind on Spider-Man’s mask) and black stars on the cheeks, so if you wanted a wrestling Pikachu lookalike, this guy would be a sure bet for you.  Early in his career, Orson tried trailing a convenience store robber but took a bad fall off a fire escape and fell face-first onto the pavement which gave him his distinctive facial mark (no wonder he decided to wear the mask).  Super Kid has since improved greatly in moving around like a true hero should, but he’s still looking for that robber and believes he might be able to find him in Paragon Fantasy Wrestling.  Given the tradition of wildly improbable coincidences in superhero stories, he just might find him sooner than he thinks.  Fun Fact 1: I first conceived this character in the hopes that I might want to write a superhero story one day, and even though I still want to do that, I now think he might work better as a member of the Paragon roster.  After all, Gregory “The Hurricane” Helms has been using that gimmick in real life for years, so this concept does have a track record for working out very well.  Fun Fact 2: I originally wanted Super Kid to have a goatee and be a “shades of grey” (neither good nor evil, just somewhere in between) character like the Punisher, but I don’t really like writing about characters like that too often, and there isn’t much point in talking about his facial hair when he’s going to be wearing a mask most of the time, so good guy and masked it is!  Fun Fact 3: Super Kid does share one other trait with comic book heroes: he has a network of informants similar to the Shadow’s group of agents or Sherlock Holmes’s Baker Street Irregulars with which he has gathered loads of dirt on the other members of the Paragon roster.  The question is, what will he do with this information and what will happen when the other wrestlers find out what he knows about them?

Jeb Colt- Theme: “Bad to the Bone” by George Thorogood and the Destroyers

A self-proclaimed “good ol’ boy” and distant relative of the famous feuding McCoys (I probably ought to include a Hatfield somewhere down the line to provide a ready-made feud), this hot-blooded North Carolina native recently moved to Paragon City, Illinois, in order to take in the local wrestling scene (he’s not the only guy from North Carolina to take a shine to the sport; just look at the Hardy Boyz, Shannon Moore, the aforementioned Gregory Helms, etc.).  A few years ago, back in his hometown of Charlotte, he was a witness to an incident in a convenience store involving a robber attempting to steal the contents of a cash register.  He tried to give chase to the robber, but lost track of him somewhere in the middle of the city.  It was at this point that some guy in a yellow mask, convinced that Colt was the robber, attempted to catch him.  Colt tried to convince the guy that he was after the wrong person, but the masked man would have none of it.  Colt only managed to get away when the guy took an ill-advised jump off a fire escape in his zeal to subdue his prey.  Colt has since given a full testimony to the police about all that he saw, but the case is still being investigated.  Meanwhile, he has decided to try his hand at pro wrestling and make a  little money doing it.  Too bad he almost forgot about that guy in the mask, because he might see him again very soon…

Warp Galactic- Theme: “Flash Gordon” by Queen

A spacefaring adventurer from the year 2014 (in an alternate universe, one presumes), he claims to have been to Mars, Pluto, the dark planet Mungo, and the Universal Federation’s newest outpost on Talos VII.  His orange buzz cut, neon green jumpsuit, fishbowl-shaped bubble helmet, and vintage-looking tin “space pistol” look strange enough, but his stories of high adventure among the stars have been the big trigger that caused Paragon fans to question Warp Galactic’s sanity.  Warp carries an I.D. card on him at all times which states that he is a senior officer in the Universal Federation deputized to protect the Sol Sector.  This entails defending Earth and its celestial neighbors from extraterrestrial threats like Borlock the Fiendish, who Warp claims zapped him with a time travel spell, causing him to go back in time to our present day.  With no way of knowing if he can get back to his time, he seeks to gain enough attention in Paragon Fantasy Wrestling to attract the notice of CERN in Switzerland, a scientific organization he believes might have the technology to send him back where (and when) he came from.  Warp’s knowledge of the combat techniques of ten thousand worlds (give or take a couple thousand by his own reckoning) could be a big asset to his wrestling career, but is he on the trek to superstardom or is he just a “space case?”

Kendall Catcher- Theme: “Pokemon Theme Song” (“I wanna be the very best…”)

For all of his life, Kendall Catcher has had one goal: to capture every single known type of the popular creatures known as Capsule Mons.  His near-obsession with the Japanese-import franchise has concerned family and friends and scared away neighbors, but he remains insistent on traveling to remote forests, deserts, and cities, dropping quarters into the nearest vending machine, and hoping that he will find some new Capsule Mons for his already extravagant collection.  He is convinced that if he collects all of the Mons, something amazing will happen.  What that event is exactly is anyone’s guess, but Catcher is certain that it will change the world.  There is only one obstacle standing in the way of Kendall’s collecting every Capsule Mon in existence: he needs more money to spend at the vending machines!  Well, he could make a lot of money by wrestling, and, in Kendall’s mind at least, you do need to have a lot of strength to be a Capsule Mon wielder.  Will Kendall’s one-track mind lead to the fulfillment of his wildest dream (and it is pretty wild if you think about it)?  Will he add any Paragon Wrestling titles to his collection?

Billy “Bo” Roberts- Theme: “On the Cover of the Rolling Stone” by Shel Silverstein, recorded by Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show

Billy Roberts wanted to be a country star.  He wanted to see his name up in lights, traveling around in an oversized tour bus surrounded by hundreds of screaming teens.  He wanted to be able to succeed in life by doing the minimum amount of work possible.  Life, however, did not go as he envisioned.  Instead, Billy struggled for years to get any recognition, releasing a few YouTube videos of some songs he was tinkering with, but to little reception.  Fed up with the stagnant nature of his career, Billy, or “Bo” as he prefers to be called now, has decided to follow in the footsteps of wrestlers like Jeff Jarrett  and Heath Slater, using the world of wrestling as a platform to ignite his country dreams.  The fans of Paragon Wrestling have their own opinion of Bo’s singing skills and it is mostly unfavorable.  That won’t stop Bo from subjecting them to his unique talents, singing at every show to his achy breaky heart’s content.

The Finisher- Theme: “It’s the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” by REM

There’s an old episode of Adventures of Superman called “No Holds Barred” where an evil pro wrestler uses so-called “paralyzing” holds to finish off his opponents.  It is heavily implied that these holds could easily kill someone if they were applied for longer than a few seconds.  The killing part wasn’t what impressed the man who eventually became the finisher.  It was the thought that a simple hold could have a devastating effect on someone that left the greatest impact.  He wanted to be able to use those holds to get back at all the people who had wronged him over the years.   He thus spent over a decade traveling the world learning the most damaging wrestling and self-defense techniques from anyone willing to teach them to him.  When he felt he had learned all the moves that could be most useful to him, he adopted a new persona, one meant to strike fear into the hearts of those who knew him to be a weakling.  The Finisher recently came into Paragon Fantasy Wrestling in the hopes that those watching the top-rated local wrestling show in Illinois might be the ones who hurt him as a child.  With a dominant offense, a distinct lack of mercy, and a collection of the world’s deadliest maneuvers, the Finisher wants all of his enemies to know that no one will ever mess with him again.  Time will tell whether that dire threat proves to be true.

Six new stars have been added to the firmament of Paragon Championship Wrestling.  It is up to you to determine if they will shine or fizzle out.  Let me know what you think of them in the comments and offer suggestions as to how I can improve this series.  These wrestlers will also be appearing in coming weeks in trial matches, so stay tuned for those as well.  Until next time, may all your pinfalls lead to 3-counts!